In the stupidly good way that turns you back into thatnine-year-old, it’s gotten ridiculous. It’s the sweety shop all over again. Rows and rows of flavours. Everything under the sun in those little bottles. Landing on a vaping website in 2021 is like walking into Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. No, wait. If chocolate was the only available flavour, you’d be calling basic.

WHEN YOUR SENTENCES OPEN WITH: “YEAH, BUT TWELVE MONKEYS IS BETTER”

Quite how pitting Twelve Monkeys against Wick Liquor became the#VapingBreak talk outside offices across the UK, we don’t know. Honestly, it’s just hilarious.Fully-grown adults in suits and ties talking Bubblegum Millions (only to be interrupted by Chris, aged 32: “Nah, mate, if you haven’t triedLollipop, you haven’t lived”).

Quote your juice brands A-Z you might, but you’re going to get caught out. It’s called walking down the street blowing boss clouds and getting stopped by a totalnewb.

“Hi. Entschuldige, dass ich dich belästige. I’ve seen all these people vaping and I’m considering it. Could you tell me what’s inside the liquid?”

Don’t let “Um, sorry, I don’t know” be your reply.

E-LIQUIDS: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW (PLUS HOW TO PICK YOUR PERFECT ONE)

When you're browsing to buy online, the terms vape juice or e-liquid probably auto drops-down in your browser. If you’re vaping, you’ll already know that you ditched the “e-cigarette” word. Vaping is way cooler. Still, you’renot a moron. You know that you’re holding an electronic cigarette (and you should’ve figured out that e-liquid got itsname because of that).

1. WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS OF E-LIQUID?

You were probably five or six when those steaming-hot school puddings were the highlight of your day. If anyone had asked you what you’d eaten for lunch, your reply was probably three words: “Fish, chips, cake.” If stretching past three just isn’t your jam, you’re in luck. E-liquids have just three base ingredients.

Propylene Glycol (PG)-Sounds mega-fancy, totally isn’t. Propylene glycol is a clear, syrupy liquid withno odour,no colour, andno taste. You’ll find it in a ton of everyday items like deodorants, cosmetics and dyes, adhesives, and Antifreeze. The chemical itself is classed as an alcohol, but that’s scientific (just like the molar mass of 76.09 g/mol-one for the office break). In e-liquid, PG acts as the flavour carrier and source ofthroat hits [link to Throat Hit v Lung Hit].

Vegetable Glycerin (VG)-Sounds borderline gross, again, isn’t. Vegetable glycerin is the colourless, odourless, sweet-tasting liquid that is once again a chemical “alcohol”. It’s thicker and more viscous than PG-probably why it’s responsible for the amount of vapour. You’ll find VG in cough syrups, food flavourings, ointments, plus aftershaves and toothpastes.

Flavouring-Kind of a given. Whether it’s strawberry, donuts or tobacco, the flavour you’ll be getting in your e-liquid is a result of a pretty simple formula. It’s called taking the two base ingredients of PG and VG, then whacking in some taste. If they left flavourings out, they, er, probably wouldn’t have many customers.

ARE THE INGREDIENTS SAFE?

We’ll be honest, here. The long-term effects of vaping won’t be known for a while. Medical research willneed a good few decades to study the outcomes, but from what we know, the ingredients have the green light.

PG is “generally recognized as safe” for use in food by the US Food and Drug Administration (USFDA). With a likewise “mostly safe” status (plus some interesting skin and digestive benefits), VG is also recognized as ok, although applying it to skin can cause allergic reactions. Bear in mind though, that these indications are for oral or topical consumption/application. Vape juice isn’t something you swallow. It also isn’t something you add to yournightly moisturising routine.

PG/VG RATIO

You’ll see this on the side of your bottle. 70/30, 50/50, plus a fair few others. That’ll be the ratio of PG to VG, which plays a pretty big role in your vaping experience.

Higher PG ratio- That’ll give you a stronger throat hit. Popular with transitioning smokers, easily tweaked with lots of options-basically, you can still have high PG without getting too harsh of a hit.

Higher VG ratio- The bee’s knees for denser, thicker vapour. High-VG might lack the throat hit you’ll get with high-PG, but hardcore cloud chasers are all over it. If you can’t figure out whether you’re a cloud or flavour chaser, clicky.

If you’re filling up a tank on a box mod like the SMOK Alien, the world is your oyster. You can max out the VG for clouds or flip it on its head for a throat hit. Some devices will influence your choice, though. Basically, Mouth to Lung (MTL) kits will steer you more towards high PG. Not unwelcome, since MTL kits mimic the smoking sensation. Sub-Ohm tanks give you more freedom: higher VG here will intensify both the clouds and the flavour. Still unsure on what the best e-liquid is to start out with? We've got a guide for that.

INGREDIENT#4: NICOTINE (AND IT'S OPTIONAL)